


鬼揞眼 (A ghost covers one's eyes)

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [42]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Emotionally Repressed, Established Relationship, F/M, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Light Angst, Reader-Insert, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: A ghost covers one's eyes (idiom)- to fail to see something obvious
Relationships: Hong Kong (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500
Kudos: 1





	鬼揞眼 (A ghost covers one's eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Hong Kong has two potential names given by Himaruya, as well as an English name. I've decided to use Lei Siu Chun (Li Xiao Chun in Mandarin) to address him in this one-shot.

Siu Chun breathed in controlled huffs as he jogged around his university campus. The sun was barely peeking through the horizon. He donned a burgundy jacket over a blank tank top and black shorts with tights underneath. His earbuds were secured in his ears as he listened to the latest punk rock album of a senior that he had stayed with on his overseas semester in England.

He was a third-year university student, taking up a bachelor's degree in Art and Design and majoring in Fashion. Simultaneously, he was taking a minor in Management. He grabbed his phone from his pocket to look at the time. It was only 5:39 AM. His eyes gazed at the photo he had set for his lock screen. It was a photo of him and his girlfriend at a fancy restaurant they had both saved up to dine in for the second anniversary of their relationship. He looked smart in his rented suit and she looked dazzling in her borderline modest cocktail dress. She had a sheer shawl over her shoulders, though he remembered fondly that it did nothing to shield her from the cold as they sat in their balcony seats. The backless plunge of her dress was a pain but it made her feel beautiful and truly, she looked it.

The moment he laid eyes on her when he picked her up from her apartment, he felt he could hold her in his arms and kiss her lips until her lipstick faded away and until they decided to call it a night, no dinner needed.

That had been three years ago. The photo was taken at the start of their freshman year. He realized how long he had gone without changing his lock screen. Well, it wasn't like he was bothered by it, but the thought of how much time had passed put things into a different perspective.

As he jogged back towards the direction of the University Dorms, he reminisced the last year that had gone. He had spent the second semester of his second year in England. He stayed with the acquaintance of one of his close friends, Arthur. His close friend, Yao, had been reluctant to recommend Arthur at first, but seeing as he had no other close connections in London, the most convenient location for Siu Chun to stay as his host university was in the same city, he yielded.

Siu Chun was pleasantly surprised that the senior Yao had arranged for him to lodge with was an independent punk rock singer. He often stayed home in the day and left for his gigs and parties late into the night, leaving Siu Chun with the silence he needed to focus on his studies. On the rare days that he was not writing a song or performing, he had toured Siu Chun around the city and his more favourite spots, far from the overpriced tourist traps.

During his time in England, he had more hands-on projects to work on and he enjoyed that semester to the fullest. He was grateful to have been allowed to join the overseas program despite his grades barely making it into the required mark.

As much as he wanted to say that he was fully prepared for university life on his freshman year, he had come to terms with the fact that that was not the case. The shift from high school to university threw him off-balance and he got more than one unacceptable grade in his standards.

In the slump he felt after his freshman year concluded, (F/n), his girlfriend was there to console him. From the moment he got accepted into his university, he knew that he wanted to be a part of the overseas program that was exclusively for sophomores. With the average grade he had for his freshman year, he could only hope to push his limits to salvage any opportunity he had. He figured that to get the ideal results that he wanted, he had to sacrifice something. Upon further reflection, he decided to forego the time he had scheduled to catch up with his girlfriend and his high school friends. He isolated himself from the people he was familiar and comfortable with and surrounded himself with professors, seniors, and classmates; he was tenacious and it paid off.

He managed to land a spot and before he knew it, the first semester of his second year of university had concluded and he was already preparing to leave for England.

Being in a foreign country and knowing no one else there felt surprisingly liberating for him. He was not bound to spend time with anybody, he had no mandatory engagements that clashed with his class and studying schedules, and he felt like he was starting from scratch.

There were moments that he reminisced about his time in the wonderful foreign land and wished that when he woke up the next morning, he would be looking up at the cracked ceiling of Arthur's rundown but homey flat.

He swiped his ID card to get past the automated doors of the dorm and he paused the playlist he was listening to as he entered. He walked into his room quietly, his roommate, a night owl, was still sleeping soundly under his warm comforters.

Siu Chun quickly started his day, hitting the showers, before starting a morning study session to prep his mind for his classes to come.

\---

He paused, his forkful of salad stopping mid-air as he checked the text message (F/n) sent him. She was wondering if he was busy that weekend and if he wanted to have dinner with her.

He could not remember the last time they had the luxury to sit down and _talk_. His freshman year was overwhelming, his sophomore year passed in a blur, and now on the second semester of his third year, both his time and attention was focused on his summer internship. They had set up Wednesdays for 'date night' that consisted of the two simply meeting up at a café or a fast-food chain to catch up with the events that happened in their week. More often than not, they simply enjoyed dinner as they continued to go through their readings and assignments. Rather than catching up, they only continued studying in each other's presence.

Truth be told, he enjoyed being stuck in the flow of such a fast-paced lifestyle. He had a routine, he stuck to it, and he did not need to think of anything else. He made sure he still had time to relax and wind down, but other than his alone moments that he used to meditate and rest, there was no room for anything else.

He and (F/n) had often discussed their relationship during their breaks. They discussed where they were individually in their lives and where they saw their relationship, as well as where they thought their relationship was heading. It was always a solemn discussion. They had drifted apart in the time that Shi Chun chose to distance himself, both figuratively and literally, in his second year but once he returned, things seemed to return to how they were. Taking into account their schedules, they allotted a few hours in a week to bond, though more often than not, they were too tired or too busy to still take the time to talk.

He quickly sent a short text her way after checking his weekly schedule. He had free time to spare that weekend. Not a minute later, she texted back with a short 'okay.'

He put his phone back down and fed himself the salad he had kept waiting.

\---

"Hey," she greeted, smiling as she approached him. He mirrored her smile and placed a warm hand on the small of her back as he gave her a brief hug. They had met in one of their frequented cafés.

She looked fidgety as she sat down after they had ordered the drinks they wanted. He carried a tray of the pastries they purchased over to their table. He wondered if she had an unfinished assignment she had to get back to after their quick meet-up.

"What's up?" He asked, direct to the point as he handed her a plate of a large lemon almond doughnut. She halted for half a second before she took the utensils he had rested on tissue paper. She hummed, not meeting his eyes.

"I was wondering how you were doing," she replied, an obvious excuse to whatever she was trying to hide. He hummed back and dug into the pastry he had gotten.

"I'm alright. I got my graded Sociology paper. I guess the score was decent," he commented. She nodded, politely digging into her snack and munching on the doughnut.

She looked around the café when she was not looking down at her food. He noticed the jittery look of her shaking pupils. He could almost hear her heart pounding from his seat across from her.

Gently, his hand came to lay upon hers, snapping her attention to him. He gave her hand a light squeeze.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

Her eyes met his before she looked back down. She looked back at him before retreating once more.

"I don't think I should say," she trailed off quietly. His brows furrowed. Before he could ask why, the barista called for his name, their drinks ready to be taken to their table. He excused himself to grab the drinks and slowly walked back to her.

He sat back down and tried to meet her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "Let's finish eating first, please."

He pressed his lips together in a tight line, disliking her answer. He let out a controlled breath through his nose and nodded, silently taking another bite.

\---

The night breeze blew against their faces as they lounged in the balcony of the café, drinks in their hands. Siu Chun looked out at the city, enjoying the view as he waited for (F/n) to gather thoughts and speak.

At that moment, he did not think about the readings he had pending, he did not think about the rest of his plans for the night. At that moment, he felt the gentle wind caress his face, he felt the unease radiating off of his girlfriend beside him. Dread was consuming him. It was like the lull before the storm. He knew something horrible was to come but in that moment, it was peaceful. Serene.

He rested his drink on the small countertop that hung on the ledge of the balcony. He looked at her and opened his arms, asking for a hug. She bit her lip, her heart heavy. She put her drink down next to his and encased herself in his embrace.

When she pulled away, her nose was stuffy and her eyes swelled with tears. He cupped her face, not understanding the cause of her distress.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I don't know how to do this."

He felt his heart skip a beat, his thumbs ceasing their comforting strokes on her cheeks. She had not said anything else but he already felt his world crumbling.

They stared into one another's eyes, (F/n) still in his embrace, her hands fisted tightly at the sides of his sweater. She spoke volumes without opening her mouth. He felt a prickling pain in his throat, making him swallow back an unwelcome sob. He ran his fingers through his hair, his other hand resting on her shoulder.

"It's alright. It's alright, you can say it," he coaxed, nodding and twitching to hold back the furrowing of his brows. "It's alright. It's going to be alright."

She closed her eyes tightly, a whimper slipping past her trembling lips as she held his hands. Tears streamed down her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, almost inaudibly. He nodded, continuing to spout empty words of reassurance.

"I love you," she stated. He hung his head, groaning in discomfort at her words. She could not be saying that when she was quite obviously ending their relationship. His grip on her tightened a fraction, his heart refusing to accept her remark.

"I didn't want it to be this way, but I can't continue to," she choked on her words, pulling away from him to quickly grab her handkerchief and wipe up her disorderly appearance. She sniffled. He watched with sullen eyes as his hands fell limply to his sides.

Her eyes met his bravely, her gaze steadfast. He almost broke down at the affection she held for him in her quivering orbs. He wanted her back in his arms but he also wanted to not be there. His hands turned to fists as he fought with his conflicting emotions. It was not like he was blindsided. They had drawn out a relationship that both of them knew could not have lasted as long as it had, had it not been for their tight grip on each other. They had already been falling apart at the edges but it was their choice to keep going. It was not their fight to win but they chose to keep pushing.

Until now.

He understood the grounds of their ending. He understood that they were at a point that they did not need and more so, did not want, one another in their lives. Granted, the tenderness they shared for each other was still present, but it would not grow with them in the environment they cultured. They both understood that but it did not make the process of letting one another go any less gut-wrenching.

He smiled a bitter smile.

"I love you too," he confessed, inevitably relinquishing his hold. This was their fight to lose. They both had to give up on this.

He rested a heavy hand on her shoulder. He did not know what to say. Should he thank her for the memories they had made? Should he apologize for the plans and the promises they never got to realize? Should he grieve over the love they had lost? Should he console her?

She brought his hand to rest on her cheek, keeping him there with her, keeping him connected with her; letting him feel her.

This was what he was choosing to let go. This was the person who was choosing in return to give him up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered once more, her tone absolute. She took a shaky breath before she let his hand slip away.

"It's alright," he lied through his teeth and tearful eyes.

"I wish you happiness," she said.

"And I, you."

As she turned her back on him, she felt herself wince at the pain. Later, she would have no one to cry into the arms of. Tomorrow, she would not have him to pick her up from her meltdown. The week after, she had no one to spend time with on a Wednesday night. She sniffed, urging the disheartening thoughts to the back of her mind. This was what they wanted. This was what they chose.

It will be alright. In a month, or another, or a year, the gaping hole left by their lack of presence would be meaningless to the other. They would grow used to it. Just as they had grown used to the slow creeping of one into the life of the other in the beginning, they would adjust to the abrupt departure they had made.

At one point, that gaping hold would be a space to hang a picture frame of a distant, but beautiful, memory.

It was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Jul 22, 2020.


End file.
